Event Date: 10/04/2019 (2:00 pm EDT - 3:00 pm EDT)
The way coaches interact with people varies from one coach to the next. This is because each coach has different personality characteristics that influence the way they interact with others. Knowing about those characteristics inherent in your personality is key to the coach–coachee interaction, the formation of an effective relationship, and the results he or she obtains. Attend this webinar to find out what your coaching style says about you.
With the knowledge of your coaching style, individuals can better understand why they behave the way they do, learn how to adapt their behavior to improve interpersonal relationships, develop rapport, and ultimately, become more effective coaches.
Participants Will Learn:
- Use What’s My Coaching Style as part of your personality style and coaching training
- Identify personal preference for one of four behavioral styles
- Develop an awareness of personal behavior patterns
- See how one is viewed by those he or she coaches
Who Should Attend:
- Training and HR Professionals
- Independent Consultants
- Managers delivering training
This webinar is sponsored by HRDQ and is based upon research from What’s My Coaching Style?, a coaching assessment that measures personality style and explores how it relates to coaching and interpersonal relationships. Coaches and managers identify and understand personality traits, learn how to capitalize on personal strengths, and minimize potential weaknesses. Learn more about What’s My Coaching Style? at HRDQ.
Presented By: Alberta Lloyd
Alberta co-founded and was Vice President of Coleman Management Consultants, Inc., (CMC), based in Atlanta, Georgia from 1980 until August 2013. The firm worked with organizations to assist in utilizing their human resources to their full potential. Over the years Ms. Lloyd provided services such as: specialized training for women and/or minority professionals; diversity awareness and skills training; personal empowerment training for executives, managers and the general employee population. She conducted employee opinion surveys, worked with Diversity Councils and Affinity groups within organizations. As needed she completed Mediation services and was trained in the facilitation of Coaching and Learning Circles to teach the skills of Peer Coaching. She also provided individual and group coaching for over one hundred high potential employees in one organization.
Sara Lindmont: Hi everybody and welcome to today’s webinar. What does your coaching style say about you? Hosted by HRDQ-U and presented by Alberta Lloyd. My name is Sara and I will moderate today’s webinar. It will last about an hour. If you have any questions, look at your control panel on the side there. It should be a chat area, it’s called chat. If you click on that you can go ahead and type in any questions that you might have. I will answer any that I can throughout the session or will respond after the session by email as well.
Sara Lindmont: So today’s webinar content is from our workshop and assessment, What’s My Coaching Style? If you are interested in delivering this training within your organization, please contact HRDQ. Our presenter today is Alberta Lloyd. Alberta co-founded and was Vice President of Coleman Management Consultants based in Atlanta, Georgia from 1980 until August 2013. The firm worked with organizations to assist in utilizing their human resources to their full potential.
Sara Lindmont: Over the years, Alberta provided services such as specialized training for women and minority professionals, diversity, awareness and skills training, personal empowerment training for executives, managers, and the general employee population. She conducted employee opinion surveys, worked with diversity councils and affinity groups within organizations as well. She completed mediation services and was trained in the facilitation of coaching and learning circles to teach the skills of peer coaching. Welcome, Alberta and thank you for joining us today.
Alberta Lloyd: Thank you, Sara. I’m delighted to be here and looking forward to spending the time with all of your listeners on an area that is really, really important. It’s one that we fall into whether in a formal manner sometimes and in an informal manner in other times, and that is coaching. We recognize that coaching also allows us or provides an opportunity, I should say, to fulfill many roles. We are mentor, we’re consultants, we’re friends, sometimes we’re the confessors. We hear confessions of other people inside as well as outside of the work environment.
Alberta Lloyd: Well, today we’re going to spend some time taking a look at behaviors that are involved with our coaching styles inside the environment. I’m not forgetting about what goes on externally, and I’ll probably use a couple of examples that might be there, but you will see this probably more clearly in the workplace. Today’s session, we’re going to take a look at What are some of the problems with coaching, what works and what doesn’t? We’re going to look at varying approaches to coaching, what helps us in the coaching process and what hinders us. We’ll look at the coaching style itself and that is some behaviors I’d like to share with you that indicate what some of the styles may be.
Alberta Lloyd: When we talk about something like a style, a coaching style, please don’t think that it limits you to this being the only way that you can behave, it is under the umbrella of coaching. So the generalizations we can utilize, obviously the behaviors that we carry, we may carry it to other parts of the of our work lives as well and also our personal lives. How do you capitalize on your style? How do you use your skills effectively or most effectively with other individuals or an individual where you’ve taken on a roll on or the role of a coach.
Alberta Lloyd: Anything that we do that is a strength can lead us into some trouble spots. If we overuse the strength, we’re going to have to figure out how to pull back so that we can adjust and reroute so that we’re able to correct the course in order to achieve our objectives. And then finally, as Sara said, the questions, the answers, if you have them, you might be able to give them … Let us know what they are. Let us kick it off and get you involved very quickly.
Alberta Lloyd: Here’s a question. What is a problem that you’ve seen with coaching? However you term it. Whether you put it under the umbrella of a mentor, whether you put it on the umbrella of listening to people who coach others and you are in the facilitation position, what are some of the problems that have come up? We’ll give you a couple of seconds to indicate.
Sara Lindmont: Yes. So go ahead and type those into that chat area you see on your control panel and I will kind of share some of what’s coming in. So we have a lot of people who are saying, time. Time seems to be one of the very first things that’s coming up. I have it about four times here repeatedly. Accountability. Telling more than conversation or conversion, which is interesting. One size fits all or does not fit all. And there’s a lot who saying just inexperience or uncomfortable with sort of what the process might be or with coaching in general.
Alberta Lloyd: Okay, great. Great. Well, thank you for all of those comments and I’m sure we’ll have many, many more. If you take a look, one of the things, and I’m going to try to capture some of the comments that you did mention. Overall time. Time is one … Sometimes we think coaching requires hours every time. It could be having a quick cup of coffee in 15 minutes. It might mean sharing a quick conversation and meeting for breakfast once a week that doesn’t have to be very, very long. So we can squeeze some time in if we don’t look for a whole block of time that we do need.
Alberta Lloyd: Accountability. It’s going to depend on what are they getting out of it? What’s in it for them? And certainly, is it broken down into small enough pieces that they can achieve whatever the objective is that we’re looking at from a coach to a coachee, I will use, that we have to make sure that they have enough time to do that. Yes, enough time to get whatever the objective is meant.
Alberta Lloyd: Some of the problems often I’m going to mix in some here. The coaches not developed a rapport with the employee. The report is just simply a relationship. A relationship that says, you know Alberta, we’d love to spend some time with you, can’t do it right now, how about … Then coming up with an alternative time without feeling like you’re disappointing or hurting their feelings but establishing a connection with the employee.
Alberta Lloyd: Your style as a coach or a style as a coach clashes with the employee, and that might be the conversation versus conversion. We all have perceptions and our perceptions sometimes, that perceptual view, if you will, that we utilize sometimes could get in the way with that. Because realize you’re working with your values, your outlook, your perspectives as well as the coachee’s same elements, and sometimes they don’t always match or don’t always meet.
Alberta Lloyd: Know one size does not fit all. Never has, never will. Individuals are individuals. Some of them … When you really put it down to some people you like, they reason, others you don’t like their behaviors. It’s not about liking the person, it’s about the behavior that they are exhibiting. When the coach’s request is that motivating enough, that’s a tricky one. Because motivation is like a light, it switches from within. If it’s not motivating enough, it simply might mean it’s the coach’s request and not a buy in from the coachee. So you need the backup. Either backup and take a look at whatever else happens.
Alberta Lloyd: The level of discomfort may come in again, recognizing that perhaps or feeling that the individual’s not listening, they are not being accepting of what you were saying, and it could again go back to that perception as to how that being interpreted as well. Then finally, misunderstanding. I’m sorry, I missed one, the defensiveness around the coach. When the employee feels defensive. Again, we’re going to cover a couple of things today that might assist you in that because if they feel defensive, then it might be a behavior that the other verbal or nonverbal, by the way, that the coach may be exhibiting that makes the employee feel that way. Because somehow there’s an action from the employee and the coach is reading or interpreting that particular action.
Alberta Lloyd: Finally, misunderstandings do happen. When we take a look, when we realize there’s a misunderstanding, then we have to quickly get involved or do damage control to figure out what’s the issue. What’s the problem? Let’s clarify what coaching is. When you look at … I’m going to give you this and let you read what’s here on the screen and then put it in other terms as well. The process of creating high performance, improving poor performance, change and learning, kind of a standard stock definition of coaching.
Alberta Lloyd: In actuality, what you’re doing is that if you break it down, you’re enhancing the talent and skills of a person to help them achieve greater results, and you’re trying hard to help the coachee bring up the better self that they have relative to whatever the performance is. Relative to what the employee might need. Just as employee, our coaches styles may vary, so do the coaches. Take a look at these. Sports has given us a lot of information. A lot of great examples in here are examples of some sports teams. They were more familiar with coaching as labeled as such from the sports arena.
Alberta Lloyd: Starting on the left, we have Tony Dungy who is an NFL coach. We have Bill Cowher who is also the NFL coach. Tommy Lasorda in baseball and Phil Jackson in the NBA with that. Understand that varying but each one of these men are winners, have won the biggest prizes in their fields. But each one has a distinctly different style as to how they get the best out of the members on their team. When you take a look, you realize that there are some team members who gravitate towards it and work well with them, and if not, I think that’s when they change teams. The team members got to go.
Alberta Lloyd: If the coach is strong and he wants certain kind of players, then you kind of play along or you don’t play there as we move on. What is style? Let’s talk about that for a second. What styles? Styles vary in business. They vary personally. Styles adjust based on your circumstance. They based on the situation, I’m sorry, they change on the situation. How you might coach, how you might interact with someone in the workplace is probably very different than how you would do the same in your personal life. With your spouse or significant other or with one of your children. And if you make a mistake and you mix up the style, someone readily checks you so that you are able to snap back into what the circumstances or what the situation happens to be.
Alberta Lloyd: The interesting thing is that our style is the way a person usually behaves, and many, many times we have to who hold ourselves back a little bit. Because we likely gravitate towards people that have a similar style to us. Because that’s comfort level. We understand it, we know it and in this way we are already positioned to know how to deal with or interact with that style. Attitude is a part of style as well. It doesn’t matter how great your skills are.
Alberta Lloyd: If that attitude is … If you’ve got the greatest skill in the world and a bad attitude that the coacher, I’m sorry, the coach or the coachee, I get them all confused here, the coach or the coachee, if that coachee has a wonderful, professional skill and a negative attitude, not going to work. It’s usually the sign of danger because it is going to knock them out of the ballpark. Nobody’s that good. People would rather take someone who performs less, need some technical assistance to learn the skill with a great attitude than a person with a bad attitude who already knows what they’re doing.
Alberta Lloyd: What do we need to do then as coaches? All coaches need to and start with how do you build that bridge with the coachee. Building rapport, that’s all it is. We need to establish a relationship with the person that we’re going to provide direction and/or suggestions towards. In some instances, people link coaching to constant critique. While there’s correction that is involved in it, how you display it, how you share it verbally and non-verbally makes a big difference. So, with that rapport, we are able to tune into the channel that works for the coachee.
Alberta Lloyd: In an instance, as an example, if you’re listening to a radio and you want classical music, but you’re on a country radio station, it’s gonna be not possible. So we have to make sure we tune into the frequency or the channel that the person will hear us whatever it is that we’re communicating. Here’s an example, let’s take a look at this. What would you do? Here’s a question for you. You are about to coach an accountant who’s very systematic, logical and an expressive, what would build rapport? A. Being how should you behave?
Alberta Lloyd: If you are to build rapport you, A. being planned, methodical giving facts and observations. B, sitting down for a casual chat asking about her weekend. C. Starting by persuading her that her performance can improve. Or D. outlining department performance goals and telling her how much she is or is not contributing to those goals. Select one A, B, C or D? Okay. Great. Great. The first one, 88% it looks like said being planned and methodical, giving facts and observations would be the best way. That most likely would. That’s where she would hear you. That’s where the person would hear you.
Alberta Lloyd: We did have a few that said sitting down for casual chat. While that might be a part of the rapport, realize that we’re looking at someone who needs specific information. Casual chatting is not always on the agenda. She might not take the person seriously, they are not focused with that. So we might want to walk gingerly with it. Then I do remember one with a couple of people had D. Outlining the department performance and goals. Well, when you do that, the poor coachee, she probably wouldn’t need to go and excuse yourself and take some mail out because she is just going to lock her … she is going to get very upset and very tense and not hear. Not respond to you very well at all.
Alberta Lloyd: So then, what is coaching style? What do we take a look at? Let’s look at how we act, how people act when they can do things their own way. It’s natural. That’s part of the coaching. It’s what is our most natural style. You don’t think about it. You’re able to use it most of the time. Behavior that is so consistent is predictable. And as much as we’d like to think we are not creatures of habit, we are. Taking outside of the context of coaching for a second, if you want to try a little exercise, ask someone who is in your work environment that you are in consistently, ask them what you do the first 10 minutes you’re in the office that you come in. They can tell you.
Alberta Lloyd: Because the moment you don’t do it, you sent out a big, big message that something is wrong today. They will constantly ask you questions, not directly, but constantly ask questions. But with that predictable. If you normally say hello and smile the morning you come in, go straight to your work area, put your things down, close the door. If there is a door, if you close the door, the signal is gone and they think that you’re mad with them. Okay. Don’t know why. It never can be that you were cut off in traffic or spill something and had to change your clothes three times. It could never be any of those things. They just think you’re mad with them. So good old paranoia slides in. But we are predictable. That’s a fun exercise to take a look at to see what your behaviors are.
Alberta Lloyd: Behaviors that are part of your personality is what people expect of you most of the time. And when you switch it up, they don’t quite know how to behave. Because you see all of these little cues tell us what works and what doesn’t work when they want to interact with you. A person’s unique way of influencing others to work towards, and I’m going to add, their own goals. That’s what coaching style is. You want to get to a point and you want to get to what’s important to you. Let’s get in what will be important to you.
Alberta Lloyd: “We are repeatedly what we do.” Aristotle said. We build our responses to others when we need to know I believe how they are. We build in mechanisms and defenses and other kinds of things when we have determined how this person only behaves. For example, every time you get somebody on the phone that you hear a name, you know they always want something. You might start get busy. You don’t want be bothered. Or you look at the phone, a phone call is coming in from a person that never gets to the point, you don’t have 40 minutes to talk to them today or right now.
Alberta Lloyd: So we are what we repeatedly do. We pick up the cues, others pick them up from us as well. It’s important for us to understand the benefits of coaching styles. We need to recognize that the benefit of knowing this is improving your interaction with others, not only in this pairing or you to the group that you’re working with, it is just one on one, other people in the environment. It helps people figure you out so they can put their best forward, so you are able to communicate with them at a level where they can hear you.
Alberta Lloyd: I worked for a number of years with an individual who had 50 brand new ideas before you finish the coffee in the morning. That was not the way to get my attention. To get my attention, you had to give me the who, what, when, where, why, and how until we both … When he wanted my attention, that’s what he wound up doing as well. Another person I worked with could bite the heads of baby birds early into me. Anything you’d say he’d get so upset and excited and I thought he was just angry and it would just stun me. So I backed up. That individual had to learn that he would have to couch his conversation with me to say he was not out of control, that he had not lost his mind and that he was not angry. He was just enthusiastic. So that helped us work better together.
Alberta Lloyd: Another benefit of understanding style is that your successes influence. Absolutely. You adapt to a different style of situations or different behaviors in situations as well as with different kinds of people. Let’s see if we can identify some of your style behaviors. Let’s take a look. We’re going to move pretty quickly here. Let me give you a couple of definitions before we do move and know that you’ve received feedback. When we start looking at this, these definitions, you have gotten the feedback. If I could see you, I’m sure you’re smiling, some of you. Because some of the feedback we like and some of the feedback we don’t. No. I don’t want to hear that today, but you’ve no doubt got this.
Alberta Lloyd: The first step, we’re going to look at a dimension of the style and the first dimension involves two elements. One is assertiveness and assertiveness is when we set up or attempt to set up a win-win. So we get agreement, we get buy-in on thoughts and actions. So there are those people who will fight to get that and be completely assertive, so a tie, and there are others who are very low assertive, who will not say what it is that they want, whether they buy-in or not. The other element is expressiveness, and that’s where we attempt to control our personal emotions. When we control those emotions, again, that means verbal, it means in your tone of voice, it means in your nonverbal behaviors. Everything from body posture to facial expressions as well.
Alberta Lloyd: When we’re less expressive, we are highly focused, maybe independent and extremely private as a result. Here’s a view of a model, a full view of a model. We’re going to spend the rest of our time looking at this particular model and trying to figure out where we fit, where our coach is fit as well. If you look to the left on the outside, you see low expressiveness and that’s what I just mentioned. Low expressive, high expressive. On the one end, the low expressiveness is one that has emotional control, they’re going to hold on to it. High expressiveness, you could be filling them up the to see once in a while. But they’re going to let you know one way or the other.
Alberta Lloyd: High assertiveness at the top, low assertiveness of this at the bottom. High assertiveness, you got to know what they want and where they want buy-in or what they will buy-in to whether you like it or not. In low assertiveness, you’re probably going to have to get some pliers to try to pull it out of them as well. Now, what we have in the middle is that we have some other words that we can take a look. The direct on the left hand side is a … If you see the red triangle, it is low expressive and high assertive. So they are not necessarily … They are going to control their emotions, but they’re going to be blunt and forthful, go to the point. That’s where that direct comes from.
Alberta Lloyd: If you look at the spirited side, that’s the diamond shape in the orange, that’s high expressive as well as high assertive. So not only are they going to tell you what it is that they want and will be clear, but at the same time, you’re going to be able to see it because they are social, they’re enthusiastic and constantly talking. Down to the bottom, the lower right side, we have consider it in the green circle. Again, low assertive now and high expressive. You probably will see it more non-verbally from these folks what they are doing, what they’re thinking and they are not going to talk as much as you’d like because they need to analyze what’s going on.
Alberta Lloyd: Finally, to the left, you have systematic and systematic is one where logic takes over. Low expressive, control of emotions. Low assertive, not going to talk as well. So what we need to do is we need to figure out where we fit not only for us and I’m sure as I go through it, you’re thinking, Okay, I’m like this, I’m like this or my coachee is like the other, and then recognize that situation specific will bring out these as a more dominant style in the model here. This does not define how you are with all, people all the time. Remember, we’re putting in a little box that says, in relative to my coaching. Relative to me as a coach, relative to the person I’m working with as a coachee. This is where it is.
Alberta Lloyd: Because again, in your specific circumstance, as it changes each one of these, you can exhibit any one of these as the need arises based on your role at that particular point. Okay. If you would then what we need to do is we need to take a look at what some of the other areas might be. Look at the strengths, if you would. The direct takes charge. They’re a go getter. They are to the point. Blunt and to the point. The spirited on the upper right, they are individuals that are spontaneous, they see the big picture, the sun is always shining somewhere as they move in a particular direction. Again, coach or coachee, you have to figure out which one that they belong to.
Alberta Lloyd: The individual who is considerate, they like careful planning, they probably maintain the status quo a lot, need to think things through carefully. So time is needed for them to process whatever is happening. Then the systematic that’s the one where they are comfortable, they get comfortable in their environment, they’re logical, they’re planners, they are empathetic to a lot of others as well. But you can easily see what happens when you mix all of them together.
Alberta Lloyd: Before I oppose the ones that might oppose, realize that if we’re both the same, we still have to take precautions. Because if we both have the same style, for example, if we’re both direct, we’re butting heads all the time. If we’re spirited, and I’ll come back to this, if was spirited, both of us are spirit, then we will chat a whole lot and have a great old time. May not get anywhere but we’re going to have a good time with each other. I’m sorry, I’ve been going the other way.
Alberta Lloyd: Consider it first. We are going to plan each other to death. We are going to have individual … We’re going to have a lot of details going on and trying to keep it as, what is the word, we’re going to try to keep it as consistent as possible, as stable as possible. We don’t like upset, we don’t like change quickly, we need process a lot. Systematic, that is just analysis paralysis. That is where we’re going to wind up at that point. Any project we have or anything we do, we are going to analyze it to no end and have every T crossed and I dotted as a result.
Alberta Lloyd: Let’s move back again to the coaches, the sports coaches. Tony Dungy. The information that we … Again, it’s only in this arena that we’re looking at. He was considerate, he was slow and steady in terms of the way he operated. He was not one up for like upsetting things very quickly or doing it without having given some thought to it, so we put him in the considerate part. Bill Cowher. He was the snatch and grab guy. He wanted to win. I mean, all of them wanted to win but he wanted to win. Not that he didn’t care, he wanted you to do what it took to win. He was blunt and we put him in the direct one, the direct quadrant.
Alberta Lloyd: Tommy Lasorda, spirited. He was friendly and highly social and created an environment and everybody just kind of got along and he wanted it as a major league ballplayer. I’m sorry, I’m stuttering. A major league coach there. Finally, Phil Jackson. He was systematic. He had a plan, he was logical and sequential. You don’t pull any … It wasn’t off the cuff. Whatever he did, it was moving him towards what he wanted to do. Now, all of them won. All of them won. Rather than one style being better than another, it was not. They were different and that’s what we need to take a look at. All styles had the same end result to win. So they worked with players in that style who … And the more receptive they were probably, the happier they were as team members on that team as well.
Alberta Lloyd: What do you think your predominant style is? Let’s take a look. Which one do you think you are? In the coach versus coachee now? Direct A. B. Spirited. C. Systematic or D. Considerate? Which one? No, there is no box that says, all of the above. Where do you think? Okay. We have a fairly even kind of split there. Understand that with that, it does not mean one is better than the other, it does not mean that one is right when you coach, it does not mean anything is wrong. It simply means that we are different. As a result, what we need to do is to understand …
Alberta Lloyd: The question becomes, how effective are we with the person we are coaching? Are they receptive to what we have put forward or what we’re putting forth at this particular time? Because there is no right answer. There is no right one … Your coachee, by the way, doesn’t have to be just like you either. However, where we need to be a little more flexible if you would take … Let’s take a look at the diagram one more time. When we’d look at the diagram next, we see all of the high assertive, lower assertive, we see the high expressive and the low expressive. If you were to take a look at the next slide, when we are looking at diametrically opposed ones … We’ve got some trouble spots here. I’ll get to the trouble spots in just a second. But we’ll take a look … Yes, thank you.
Alberta Lloyd: What we need to do is we need to take a look at this one first and then get to some of the spots. Directly opposed or opposite each other, direct and considerate. That can be tough. You have a direct who is forthful and wants to get to the point. The considerate who wants to process their feelings and what they think about it and they need time to process. Those two can hit an impasse. As a result, what we need to do is figure out some solutions and that’ll come.
Alberta Lloyd: The next one is if you have spirited and systematic as the opposites, you have a spirited person who loves rapport setting, wants to tell you all about what they just watched or did or over the weekend or yesterday or something funny. And you have the systematic who wants to know what’s the agenda. What are we supposed to do? When are we supposed to get the information together to reach the objectives that we want. So either way what we need to do is we need to figure out then, how do we stretch? What kinds of things do we need to do in order for us to make the pairing work? It’s got to take give and take on both sides. Give and take on both sides is going to be required with that.
Alberta Lloyd: As I started to mention before that each one has to shift. We can change and be flexible when necessary based on the need that presents itself in that. As you look at your own style, other elements that impact your style will be your perception. Your perception screen, if you will, of individuals. Sometimes it is what we see if we’re face-to-face, what we see affects how we communicate with someone. Things like our values, gender, age, status, ethnicity, all of those things begin to jumble up in our mind as we’re working. The way a person speaks, they have an accent or not. Those are elements that can get in the way and create some issues for us.
Alberta Lloyd: What we need to do is we need to break it down so we see the coachee as an individual, not as a representation of a group for or as something we might have a different perception of. Quick example. The direct is the blunt getting to the point and forthful, when we look at that on a man it may be viewed differently if we see that same exact behavior on a woman. If we see someone who is considerate, as an example, and an older person is showing that, then we may allow some other elements to get in there versus if someone 20 years younger had shown the same thing.
Alberta Lloyd: If we see someone that is in their 20s or 30s showing us highly spirited behaviors, enthusiastic, hopping all over the place, liking the brainstorm, got a brand new idea, then we begin to put it off to something else. We may not see them or take them as seriously. Finally, the systematic one. If again, like we go back to our accountant example when we take a look, sometimes we pigeonhole people based on their jobs. While that may give you an inkling of how to behave, it does not always provide the specific data that you need to be successful in that particular behavior.
Alberta Lloyd: Enough about us from the coaches side, let’s take a look now that you’ve got an idea of where you fall. How about identifying where you think your coachee falls. Same as yours, different but next to yours or diametrically opposed to yours? Okay. Another 30 seconds. What do we got? Good. The majority, next to yours. So you’re able to see the flexing. I see a few of you have some challenges both the diametrically opposite of yours, which means a lot more communication and perhaps some additional communication is required to get them to be in a fully comfortable zone so that you can communicate. Then a fairly large amount of you have people that are the same as yours.
Alberta Lloyd: Again, that just simply says, we can’t stay in that bucket too long with that comfort because otherwise we may not get as much done as we would like to get done. So that will be important for both of us, the coach and the coachee to be a little flexible in order to get the task completed. Get the job done. Totally. Now, we started at A. Now, for problem solving, we need to get to B. So how do you get the styles to deal with these other styles? How do we get to B? Well, when you direct, direct is good, but once in a while it might be good to be a little more considerate.
Alberta Lloyd: Take time to ask how people are doing. Take time to take a deep breath while you have the end goal in mind. Understand that everybody wants to get there but everybody is not as much of a hurry as you are. So you want to work with them. You want them to feel comfortable. I don’t mean go overboard. I certainly don’t mean be mushy about it. But you might just simply take time to understand and recognize you have another person in front of you that’s a breathing human being who’s got a story.
Alberta Lloyd: So we need to work with the spirited. Well, lots and lots of ideas, happy environment, liking lots of people, highly social and that’s fabulous. At the same time we need to like a little bit back closer to the ground and maybe a little more planning. Little bit more writing things down and following what it is that you need to get done. No one has ever got a quarrel about being in a pleasant environment but we simply don’t want to go overboard so that we don’t achieve the objectives that both of us in that relationship might look upon as a good time but not worth it.
Alberta Lloyd: Consider it rather than perhaps beating around the bush as much as we’d like, we don’t worry as much about the other person’s feelings, but allow them to be responsible for their own feelings. Be candid. Say it. Say what you mean. Get it out so that the individual is able to understand from both perspectives what it is you need, what it is you want, as you move towards your end goal. Consider it finally, I’m sorry, systematic … I got them backwards. My apologies.
Alberta Lloyd: Systematic is the last one I wanted to cover, and systematic that simply says, speak up. It’s easy. People can see when you want to say something but won’t say it. Make sure that you get it out. Be optimistic about it. It’s everything’s not doom and gloom. The analysis is great, the in-depth, skill that you have is certainly appreciated. However, we don’t need the deep dive all the talent because it takes time and individuals don’t have that kind of patients perhaps.
Alberta Lloyd: While it fills your need, it’s not filling theirs. It’s that tuning into the channel again that each one of us need to do. When you want a certain type of response, you got to go in the channel that individual will receive. Because if we don’t, then we’re simply listening to two different music stations and that does not make anybody feel like they are accomplishing what perhaps they set out to accomplish.
Alberta Lloyd: Finally, in summary, again, there’s no one style that’s right or wrong. Situations and behaviors, this is your most dominant. The one that feels better for you particularly. It helps when you know your trouble spots because each one has a trouble spot. Let me quickly give you those. If you are too direct, you come off as a bully and that’s in the extreme because we all overuse each style at times. Spirited, when you’re too spirited then nobody takes you seriously. You just talk too much at that point and that serious about anything.
Alberta Lloyd: When we look at the considerate one, it’s like you’re fudging. It’s time consuming. It’s something that you are not capable or not willing to take seriously and do anything about it. Move on. When you overuse the systematic approach, the planning, it’s analysis paralysis again. You’re stuck. You just get bogged down in all of the detail and you’re not able to come out of it so that anybody feels good as well. So balancing, it’s a balancing act, obviously, and you can catch yourself as you go along with the notes that you keep from your coaching and see what you’ve achieved and make sure that there’s buy-in from all four of them.
Alberta Lloyd: You can adjust to other people’s style. You can adjust to them. You can overcome your blind spots. You can overcome everything. But it won’t necessarily last forever. You will do it according to situations. For a more successful coaching, probably a better interaction and a longer term relationship. The sad thing about many of the code coaches and coachee pairings that are established within business organizations is they don’t last. What you might want to do is build-in elements, build-in skills, build-in opportunities where you still have a connection, perhaps not the same kind but you do have a connection.
Alberta Lloyd: It doesn’t mean you kind of hug each other all the time, if that’s not just style, but it doesn’t mean that you build that relationship from a professional standpoint. If you’re very lucky, it’s also something that you can do from a personal standpoint as well. You’re able to add one more person to your friend or work acquaintance network. Then finally, effective coaches create a match between their style and the situation that is there. Hopefully, I’ve gone through a whole lot of data in a short period. A couple of these things can be courses on their own to talk about in more depth. But hopefully, some of this you were able to see and you will take to heart.
Alberta Lloyd: Realize that knowledge is power but only when it’s used. To know it and not to do it or use it is not to know it. So rather than looking at an assessment, taking it and putting it in a file, it needs to be worked on, understood and utilized on a consistent basis and it will certainly make a big difference. It’ll add one more little piece of data to your tool bag that helps you become or remain and enhance the strong professional that you are. All right. I thank you for your time. I appreciate your time. Sara, I’m going to toss it back to you.
Sara Lindmont: Wonderful. Thank you so much, Alberta. That was great. We do have a question that has come in and I’d like to hear some of your thoughts about it. I have a feeling others on the line might have this similar question, but I’ll … So I’ll get the question in a second. If anyone does have any questions for Alberta, feel free to use that chat area on your control panel. And if you click the little arrow, it’ll open up and it’ll give you a box there that you can type in and put in your question.
Sara Lindmont: But we have a question here around the difference between coaching and performance management and advising. They’re asking kind of how you see maybe the difference between those areas of whether it’s performance management or just a manager relationship, coaching relationship and kind of an advising relationship.
Alberta Lloyd: Okay. I’ll take the performance management first. Performance Management is the clearest thing I believe that we can do because we’re backed by the system. There’s a standard that you’re attempting to reach. There’s a level of achievement that is required and you have a measurement that in that. So performance management then becomes very clear because your structure is going to take that over. If that standard is not met, then you are going to have to … There are other consequences behind that one. Coaching and advising probably like splitting hairs.
Alberta Lloyd: Advising someone is to help them utilize information that you might have to help him or her build on what they are already doing and make it better. So the advising might be useful, for example, for me the coachee to take a couple of courses, to work with my addiction or do some other things because it would make me more … I will become more successful, potentially successful at giving presentations, speaking out loud, taking a course on assertiveness, I may learn how to handle difficult conversations.
Alberta Lloyd: Coaching, on the other hand, coaching I would use on a … That’s where you can get some of the softer skills in there. My tone, I talk too loud, I yell at people. I lose my temper. I only do what’s asked of me. So completed staff Work is an issue for me. That now says, okay, you do a good job, here’s how I see you being able to expand that. Here’s how I see you can build on what you already are doing and move the ball ahead so that you are viewed differently or you are more successful in the role that you have.
Sara Lindmont: Wonderful.
Alberta Lloyd: Did that help?
Sara Lindmont: It definitely helped. We have one more question here around the four coaching styles. So once you sort of identify your style and you have an understanding of your coachees styles, the question is around, do you want to learn all four of the styles and use all four of the styles? You had sort of mentioned a little bit about flexing. But could you speak a little bit towards the power or the benefit of flexing between those different styles from a coach perspective?
Alberta Lloyd: Absolutely. Using all of the styles, you already have the ability and the capability to do that. But utilizing the style until you find … There will be times when it is necessary to be direct and blunt. And say it, just say it. To the person, it might be a shock to them, but they’ve got to hear it. You would know that from the temperament, from the way that your coachee is responding to it. Coaching is not necessarily coddling and knowing all the styles is not letting people off the hook.
Alberta Lloyd: You have the ability to use any one of the styles as you see the need within the circumstance or the situation with that. The flexing is that you will not. We don’t stay in that too often. If I had that, got to get to the point, please don’t beat around the bush. My mind is going to begin to wander as the coach if I am not prepared for that. If I’m the coachee and I’m utilizing that behavior, then I need to begin to adjust to say, get to the point first and then backup and give me the detail later. Let me ask you for it.
Alberta Lloyd: So yes, I would say utilizing all four, being very familiar with all four styles and knowing which one. If you have a question, and we will have questions such as, it doesn’t seem like you’re understanding this or do you need some time to think about that? Or Kyla, you’re highly enthusiastic. What makes you so excited about this particular idea? Boy, it just seems like you want to cut to the chase and get right to the point. What’s causing that? What drives that.
Alberta Lloyd: So when you ask questions you just capitalize on what you hear your coachee feeding back to you, what their responses are. So absolutely, flex as much as you can in all of these. Remember, your objective is to create the bridge that’s most effective to help the person grow, enhance, learn and move in a direction to meet an objective that both of you have agreed upon since you’re there.
Alberta Lloyd: One of the toughest things, whether it’s coaching and under that is the mentoring, which I think is partially the same thing. But one of the elements is, people tie it only or solely to promotion. You may not have the ability to promote your coaching. You may not have the ability unless you’re the decision maker to guarantee that’s going to be the outcome. That’s why some of the mentoring programs have gotten off track as well.
Alberta Lloyd: But the coaching and mentoring, and I’m going to slice it because companies tend to use them synonymously, but that’s promotion. You get people ready. You get people ready to take on opportunities. You get them ready to accept new responsibilities, greater responsibilities. Making it happen is not always in the purview of the coach and shouldn’t be. Because if that’s the only measurement, then a lot is going to be lost.
Sara Lindmont: Wonderful. Thank you so much, Alberta. It is always a pleasure.
Alberta Lloyd: My pleasure.
Sara Lindmont: For those who are new with HRDQ, I just want to tell you a little bit about us. We publish research based experiential learning products that you can deliver in your organization. So check out our online or print self-assessments like the What’s My Coaching Style, which was the foundation of today’s webinar. We also carry up out of your seat games and reproducible workshops that you can customize.
Sara Lindmont: So check out our website or give customer service call. And if you do need help either learning a training program or you want one of expert trainers to deliver it for you internally like Alberta, she can come out and provide those services. We look forward to being your soft skills training resource. Thank you for participating in today’s session and we look forward to seeing you on the line next time.