The Dynamics of Rapport

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Earlier this week, James Eicher and HRDQ-U hosted a free webinar titled, The Dynamics of Rapport: Using Neurolinguistics to Improve Communication.  Eicher, a well-respected author and consultant, is a subject matter expert in the fields of sales, organizational strategy, leadership, and communication. During his career, he held leadership roles at Booz Allen Hamilton, Andersen Worldwide, Symantec, and NetApp. He was also the founder of Cognitive Management, training and consulting with worldwide clients such as Xerox, Reuters, Sony, Simon and Schuster, Amdahl, and Nortel.

Over 740 people registered to listen to the webinar live. If you want to watch and learn, you can do so here.

Have you ever felt like you “hit it off” with someone- maybe even after knowing him or her for just a short period of time or discovering that you have very little in common with that person? Still, you just sensed you would get along, despite the reasons why you shouldn’t.

Now turn it around. A friend introduces you to someone they just know you’ll love. Or you meet someone that you expect to like immediately. Yet you’re surprised when you dislike them right off the bat- or you’re indifferent to that person, at best.

Rapport is the state shared by two or more individuals whose behavior, thinking and values come into alignment regardless of the “content” of their desired objectives and outcomes.

There is a distinct process for developing rapport. First you need to discover if you are a visual, auditory or kinesthetic (hands-0n) learner. You may need to step out of your comport zone. Next you will need to look at Style, Fit and Flexibility.

To the right is a chart that will help you understand some sensory-based words and phrases. Do the words and phrases help you understand what kind of learner you are? Might they help you learn how to better communicate with others?

When we communicate with others, we often must find the best  way we relate to them. That is called Formatting. We format in 3 ways:

Visual –

  •  Charts, photos, memos, email, anything graphic

Auditory –

  •   Stories, testimonials, music, discussions, phone, anything verbal

Kinesthetic –

  •   Gesturing, models, demonstrations, anything they can touch

Another way to communicate well is called Chunking. Chunking is scaling the level of detail in the information you provide (chunk). We do this by either serial or parallel – or size that best fits others.

Serial –

  •   Making a list, going step by step, one by one, diagramming each phase

Parallel –

  •   Giving the big picture, the bottom line, getting to the main point or summary

Rapport over time = trust.  The tools of rapport provide the following benefits:

  • Understand what co-workers, clients, and all stakeholders want, sometimes better than they do
  • Practice “conscious competence” so you know what went wrong and what went right, and proactively do something about it
  • Create an ease and flexibility about your communication that telegraphs a positive, practical approach to solving problems

For much more information on how to use neurolinguistics to improve communication, click here.

Click here to learn about The Neurolinguistic Communication Profile – Facilitator Set available at a HRDQ.

Sign up today to make sure you don’t miss the next free webinar!

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