Workplace Conduct

20
aug

Trust Building® in the Workplace

Posted by Communication Styles, Human Resource Training, Team Building Exercises, Workplace ConductNo Comments

by Dennis Reina, Ph.D. and Michelle Reina, Ph.D.

Does your workplace exhibit toxic behaviors such as: gossiping and backbiting, confidentiality breaking or getting even?  These common behaviors can turn a productive team into one where trust is eroded and negativity becomes the norm.

Trust is fragile and takes years to build, yet can be broken in minutes. Furthermore, the level of trust within a team gets worse with each betrayal and every negative encounter. While these breaches may not get addressed, they don’t go unnoticed, leaving the core foundation of the relationships crumbling.

Ultimately, it is up to leaders to realize that there is a problem and begin the work of trust building in their workplaces.

The good news is there are obvious symptoms of eroded trust. Identify these three early signs and you can take action to stop the damage—and even reverse it.

A. Backbiting and Gossip

Do members of your team feel free to share ideas, where they can communicate openly and honestly about issues and challenges? Trust building creates an environment where people want to work.

Yet every day, trust is tested in team relationships, especially in the form of gossip at work.

Gossip is the number-one trust breaking behavior within teams. Rather than going directly to the individuals with an issue or concern, people talk behind their backs to everyone else.

If the gossip is unchecked, it becomes more prevalent, happens more often, and as a result, becomes more disruptive. People hear about things a co-worker said behind their backs. In turn, they gossip as well. Negative feelings grow. Distrust flourishes. Once distrust takes hold, people no longer work well with each other—they are guarded regarding what they say, they don’t offer new ideas and they demonstrate other coping behaviors. Tensions rise, as do other trust breaking behaviors.

When you notice team members talking about one another behind each other’s back, this is an immediate sign that there has been damage to the foundational level of trust within your team. The leader must address this situation in order to begin to build trust within the team.

B. Confidentiality Breaking

Confidentiality breaking has to do with how team members communicate with one another—their trust of communication.

Occasionally, something may interfere with a person’s ability to meet deadlines, or how they are performing at work. If you are able to share your concerns with your leader or fellow team members, that is essential. Let them know what your outside pressures or circumstances are so they can keep projects on track.

Yet, people are reluctant to discuss personal matters in an environment where confidences are broken and gossip is rampant.

Unfortunately, this is also true of professional confidentiality. When such things as intellectual property, company secrets or ideas for market growth and development are shared publicly, people become suspicious about whether their information is safe.

Trust building means that people feel confident their personal and professional information is safe and sound. Information that team members have been trusted to keep private—whether it is personal or professional—violates trust; and misunderstandings will arise.

Leaders need to step in when confidentiality is being broken and immediately address these breaches because they threaten to weaken the core foundation of their teams based on trust.

C. Getting Even

The above negative behaviors often lead to defensiveness and a “get even” attitude among team members. For instance: “They said something about me, so I am going to share personal information about them.” Or: “She didn’t get me the information I needed in time, so I’m not going to worry about this deadline I committed to meeting for her.”

This kind of behavior will continue to escalate if not addressed: further destroying the effectiveness of the team, eroding trust, creating deep feelings of betrayal and causing stress and anxiety in the lives of all.

Often, this type of trust breaking behavior is easy to spot because it to will get shared through the grapevine. People will begin to gossip about perceived wrongs, or use one person’s past behavior as an excuse for their current bad behavior.

When a leader hears or sees this “getting even” mindset, it is essential that they address it immediately to stop the erosion of trust within their team. Once this behavior is turned around, people feel less worried about making small mistakes and are able to begin building trust in the workplace.

Trust Building® in the Workplace

The first step in changing trust breaking behavior is to realize how your behavior has contributed to the presence or absence of trust in your team dynamics. As Mahatma Gandhi said, “be the change you want to see,” address the issue by discussing how things should be handled within your team and follow through. When you recognize one of these behaviors, address it with the offending team member. Make sure your staff knows that these behaviors are not tolerated and provide them with alternative, healthy ways to communicate that strengthen trust.

By addressing common trust breaking behaviors and creating a culture that encourages trust building in the workplace, you will change your team into one that can transcend any challenge.

For more information on this crucial topic, join us on September 16 for an enlightening and engaging webinar, Trust Building® as Tonic for Toxic Workplaces and Bad Bosses.

Remember, Trust begins with you!

9
mar

Five Tips for Formulating Great Questions

Posted by Communication Styles, Human Resource Training, Workplace ConductNo Comments

 

By Sue Lanaday

Asking questions can be tricky. Your goal is to get the person to open up, but not overshare. You also want to ask more than a simple “yes or no” question. Here are some tips on formulating great questions that people will want to answer.

1. Keep questions open-ended and focus on experiences, interests, and wishes

Try to stay away from yes/no questions. If you’re asking a question that suggests a one-word answer, be sure to follow up with a “why?” to draw out an explanation for the answer.

The goal is to get interesting responses from questions that are easy to answer. While different questions may be easier or harder for different people, questions that draw from people’s experience tend to be easier to answer than those that require on-the-spot creative thinking. For example, consider this poor question: “if you could invent one thing, what would it be?” People spend years trying to think up inventions, and you can’t expect someone to come up with an adequate answer in a moment’s time.

2. Understand what your goal is

Determine the type of dialogue and relationships you hope to nurture through your discussion questions. If you have a short period of time, you may simply want to break the ice and get people accustomed to sharing. You should select more superficial questions that don’t require too much thought, discussion, or explanation.

If you want people to get to know one another, network, or find common interests, you’ll need questions that scratch under the surface, but don’t feel too intrusive. If your group knows each other well, but wants to explore a topic more deeply (like stress, team dynamics, ethics, values, etc.), you can select more probing questions.

3. Make the questions “safe” and Inspire dialogue and sharing

No matter what level of intimacy you’re seeking among the participants, you want to be sure that they don’t feel like they’re being put on the spot or judged. In part, this can be addressed by setting up ground rules (like listen actively and respect differences), however you can also adjust the way you phrase a question. For instance, if you’re exploring your team’s dynamics, you shouldn’t ask “who’s not pulling their weight?” But you could ask, “what if someone isn’t pulling their weight?”

Thought-provoking questions, which might take a little more time to answer, can also stimulate an interesting discussion. If your desire is to open up conversation, make sure that there is not a right or wrong answer to the question.

4. Mix in “would” and “should” questions

Questions can feel different if they are framed as a personal inquiry (what would I do if…?) versus as a general inquiry (what should we do… or what should one do…?). When formulating questions, consider whether one format or the other would be easier or more comfortable to answer, and which would better promote a positive and productive discussion. For example, these three questions below are all likely to result in different conversations:

  • “What would you do if you witnessed bullying”?
  • “What should you do if you witness bullying”?
  • “What should we do to respond to bullying”?

5. Balance reflective and appreciative questions

Some questions require that people think back on prior experiences. These can be a beneficial way to understand someone’s past, but that perspective ought to be balanced by asking appreciative questions, which focus on goals and on envisioning the future. If, for instance, you want to foster conversation about leadership techniques, you’d want to include prompts that evoke current experience, such as “I make employees feel valued by…” as well as those that promote forward thinking, like “I’d be a better leader if I….”

Summing it Up

Having great questions is most important when it comes to facilitating dynamic conversations. But having a good process is also key. Keep these quick tips in mind:

  • Transparency. Before you begin a Q&A activity, be clear about your goals and intent for the conversation. This will help participants understand how in depth they should make their answer and what they should hope to get out of the experience.
  • Simplicity. Whenever you’re facilitating conversations on any topic, be sure to ask questions that are short, concise. and easy to digest. Long-winded questions are harder to decipher and answer.
  • Repetition. Repeating the question once or twice can give participants additional time to process the question and think of an answer.
  • Ground Rules. If you’re concerned that conversations might be emotionally charged, set a few ground rules to help guide your group. These rules might include: critique ideas but not people; speak only for yourself and avoid generalizations; speak with respect; make sure everyone feels heard and validated; agree to disagree; use “I” statements; and be positive.
  • Timing. Understand that some individuals, and some questions, might require more thinking time. For a rich exchange, don’t rush. Give participants ample time to offer a thoughtful response.

Armed with these tips on formulating questions and facilitating discussions, you can look forward to stress-free conversations and getting to know people a little better.

4
mar

The Pillar of Trust

Posted by Communication Styles, Team Building Exercises, Workplace ConductNo Comments

 By Sue Lanaday

Conflict is a part of life and can happen in all relationships. It rears its ugly head at work when colleagues have different ideas about how to achieve a goal, when they discuss who should perform certain work, and when personalities clash.

Given how common conflict is, it’s surprising that we’re not better at dealing with it. Rather than addressing our differences, many of us who are conflict-adverse choose to look the other way, brush problems under the rug, or assume we have no power to change the dynamics that cause our consternation.

Alternatively, those who are more comfortable with conflict may be seen as argumentative. These shouldn’t be the only two options. Rather, we should get better at resolving our differences, without avoiding them or getting into disputes.

What we need is a method for managing conflict. Those who are very good at it use a model I call ‘The Pillar of Trust.’ The pillar offers a structure that can support even the toughest challenges and allow individuals or disputing parties to reach their potential and achieve optimal results.

The Pillar of Trust – From the Bottom Up

  • COMMUNICATION

Good communication forms the foundation of the pillar. It is only through conversation – both talking and listening – that we can begin to understand one another.

  • RELATIONSHIPS

As we learn more about each other and our mutual understanding grows, so too do our relationships. The development of these personal or working relationships then become part of the pillar, making it stronger and able to the bear the weight of even more difficult challenges. In turn, these increasingly stronger relationships beget deeper levels of communication. In this way, communication and relationships continue to spiral around each other, together gaining strength.

While strong relationships are a gift in themselves, they also yield a host of ancillary benefits, including emotional support, confidence, reduced stress, good health, happiness, and trust.

  • TRUST

Confidence, health, and reduced stress are most certainly pleasant consequences of positive relationships, but the development of mutual trust is perhaps the most powerful byproduct. Trust allows us to take risks, open up, and look for mutually beneficial solutions when conflicts occur. Trust gives us peace of mind when we need to rely on one another, and comfort to share our vulnerabilities.

Trust is tricky – in order to determine if someone else is trustworthy, you need to make yourself vulnerable. However, with a strong base developed through communication and relationship building, that exposure is unlikely to feel risky.

The Strength of the Pillar

The triumvirate of communication, relationships, and trust creates a strong foundation and formidable structure, able to bear the weight of the toughest challenges. Looking at the model, you may wonder why communication is at the bottom and trust at the top, if the elements are so intertwined.

The reason is that trust rarely comes first. While it’s certainly true that you need to develop a certain level of trust before you can delve into deep or sensitive conversations, the reality is that individuals are more likely to use lighter conversation topics to build relationships and trust slowly, waiting until they are mutually ready to probe and share more deeply.

To begin building a pillar, don’t wait for others to make the first move. After you set the tone and model the type of honesty you desire, others are likely to follow suit.

Building Trust from the Top Down

Most people have a variety of relationships that differ in the level of intimacy. Though not impossible, it’s unlikely that total strangers would dive into a very deep conversation.

Because building relationships is an iterative process that takes time, perfect strangers, or those with a history of bad relations are more likely to start building (or re-building) their relationships with more superficial topics of discussion. After they’ve found some common ground and established a new base-layer of trust, they become better able to scratch below the surface and eventually have deeper, more personal and more difficult conversations.

Building Pillars, Not Walls

To build relationships strong enough to tackle the personal, professional, or political challenges we face today, we must start by communicating.

Through open, honest, and truthful dialogue; by sharing our feelings, experiences, fears and joys; the Pillars of Trust will rise. These pillars will enable us to enjoy supportive relationships both at home and at work, find common purpose, and resolve or respect our differences.

13
dec
interpersonal_communication_in_the_workplace

Solve Workplace Issues by Developing an Assertive Influence Behavior

Posted by Communication Styles, Workplace ConductNo Comments

Influencing skills are important and they can help someone succeed in both their personal and professional life. Knowing the right type of influence behavior to utilize can be hard to determine, but if a person can do so everyone will benefit. The four types of influence behavior are openly aggressive behavior, concealed aggressive behavior, passive behavior, and assertive behavior. Assertive behavior is the key behind success at work.

Influence is a daily part of life and can help resolve issues, negotiate complex deals, and lead project teams. If team members have poor influence behavior, however, it can cost the organization a lot. Mistrust can breed and problems can grow when people don’t communicate effectively or use assertive behavior to solve problems. Unfortunately, learning how to use assertive behavior can be challenging. But the behavior can be learned, and HRDQ’s product ‘Interpersonal Influence Inventory’ can help. This tool allows people to become more aware of their own behaviors and discover how to influence others.

Less Productive Behaviors

Openly aggressive behavior, concealed aggressive behavior and passive behavior are common influence behaviors, but they are not effective.

People who are openly aggressive believe that they have all the rights, at the expensive of others. They want control and refuse to admit when they are wrong. This is detrimental to a well-operating workplace.

Those who have concealed aggressive behavior often think about revenge for perceived slights. They are hostile, insulting, and threatening – in an indirect manner. This behavior is also a problem at work.

Employees with passive behavior don’t speak up because they lack self-confidence and they don’t want to disturb the status quo. They tend to agree with others and don’t like to express their opinion. This is an issue because different opinions are important to build a diverse team.

Assertive Behavior and How it Helps at Work

Assertive behavior has the greatest impact on individual success and organizational performance. This behavior consists of self-confidence and believing in individual privileges. Assertive people advocate for others and create an impact. They communicate clearly and move projects forward. Employees should strive to become assertive influencers to better their own work life and the experience of those around them.

An influence style affects people’s own feelings and thoughts; other people’s feelings, thoughts, and behaviors; and the functioning of the organization itself.  Assertive people are more likely to achieve goals because being assertive means being more expressive and making choices with honesty and directness. Assertive people have more control over a situation because they have the power to choose. They have gained trust from others and know that their actions are valued.

How to Improve Your Influence Style and Become More Assertive

Influence is a learned skill and it can be improved. With the right training, self-discovery, and practice, people can develop their ability to be assertive.

HRDQ’s Interpersonal Influence Inventory is designed to create an awareness of the behaviors people use when they attempt to influence others. It allows participants to recognize their own style of influence and work toward developing a more effective style. The combination self-assessment and training workshop helps people work toward becoming more effective communicators. Learn more about Interpersonal Influence Inventory.

To learn more about influence, view HRDQ’s “How Do You Come Across to Others?” webinar. You will learn how to identify personal influence style, four common influence styles and how each relates to one’s ability to influence others, why assertive behavior is the influence style that always yields positive results, and how some influence styles can hamper interpersonal communication. Click here to watch.