Event Date: 12/10/2019 (2:00 pm EST - 3:00 pm EST)
Sarah Lindmont: Hi everyone, and welcome to today’s webinar. Enhancing your negotiation powers. Hosted by HRDQ-U, and presented by Tanya Longino. My name is Sarah and I will moderate today’s webinar. The webinar will last about an hour. So if you have any questions, go ahead and type them into that questions area on your go to control panel. You just click on that white box area and then type your message and a send box will come up. Little button there. You can click on that, send those into us. We’ll answer questions as they come in. We’ll have some time at the end here for some Q&A. Anything we don’t get to, we will email answers to you. So make sure send in those responses. We’ll also have some interaction today using this chat feature, so you can also type in there to get those responses in. It’s all in the same section for you.
Sarah Lindmont: So today’s session is based on the theory from our popular negotiating style profile. This workshop and self assessment, it helps individuals develop their collaborative negotiating styles. Through thought, preparation, and skill practice. You can purchase the kit and deliver this session on your own with no certification required. If you would like help with training the trainers, if you have a group of trainers in your organization or running this session virtually. Or either onsite at a location of your choice. We have expert trainers like Tanya who can deliver this for you. So you can reach out to HRDQ and we’ll help you get set up running the negotiating style in your organization.
Sarah Lindmont: So I am really excited to introduce our presenter today, Tanya Longino. Tanya is the president and founder of HR Partners, an interview strategy firm. In this role, Tanya has helped clients develop competitive interview strategies for more than 25 years. Her HR career spans several industries and specialties including finance, IT, banking, specialty materials, pharmaceuticals, retail, and healthcare. She has enjoyed a great working relationship as a global business partner with companies such as Bank One, Rohm and Haas, GlaxoSmithKline, Toyota Financial, and many others. It is wonderful to have you with us today, Tanya.
Tanya Longino: Thank you Sarah. I appreciate that warm greeting and welcome. Good afternoon everyone, and thank you for joining our session today on enhancing your negotiating powers. The title of this workshop infers that each of us are innate negotiators. And we apply some level of negotiating skill each and every day. And today, we will work on how we can strengthen the skills we currently have and add new ones to our existing toolbox. We will talk about what does the state of negotiations look like. We’ll start with and agree upon a baseline definition for negotiating. We’ll unpack the five negotiating styles, and we’ll identify which of those styles work best for a given situation. And towards the end, we’ll spend a few moments talking about one of the styles. How collaboration, how that negotiation style works best for most parties.
Tanya Longino: So let’s get started. And the first thing we’ll do is we’ll take a look at one of my trusty industry experts, how they go about company negotiation. In the world of Dilbert, let’s see what Alice uses as her negotiation technique. This is Alice talking to, we’re going to presume one of her contractors. An Alice says, “Thanks for being flexible in this negotiation. You’re a really good sport. And by a good sport, I mean you’re a good loser. And by a good loser I made a loser.” And look at the contractor. “Well, I was just calling it generous.” So Alice’s style of negotiating might seem a bit off center, but then again, some of you on the phone joining us may agree with this style. Let’s dig a little deeper.
Tanya Longino: Negotiating is something we do, as I mentioned every day in our lives. Perhaps we don’t think of it as negotiating. But every time we tried to gain the favor of people from whom we want something, we’re essentially negotiating. On this slide, we’ve listed a few. For example, a hotel clerk who just told you there were no rooms. How many of us have had that happened when we have a guaranteed reservation. When we get to the desk, they tell us there are no rooms available this evening. So what do you do? Do you become irate, belligerent, or do you stand there and try and talk through an opportunity for you to secure the room that you’ve reserved?
Tanya Longino: Here’s one of my favorites. Well I’m being facetious here. You’re a teenager asking for the use of a family car. I’m being facetious because that is something that I’m dealing with most every day. We have a new driver in our home, and most every single day he’s asking for and negotiating his way through the keys to the car.
Tanya Longino: Another, you have five friends and you’re going out to dinner and now it’s time for the movie. And everyone has their preference for a movie. How do you get to the place where each of you have decided upon the best movie for the group?
Tanya Longino: So in our chat box, if you would not mind, add some of the ways that you negotiate everyday. If you don’t mind, just put a couple. And I’ll wait here. Someone is saying, “Sarah, they cannot hear.” Not sure.
Sarah Lindmont: Yep. We’re working with them behind the scenes. We think it’s their computer connection, but we haven’t heard from others. So I think we’re clear otherwise.
Tanya Longino: Okay, good. You can hear me so that’s great. So I see here that Bill says he’s negotiating with other departments, deadlines with other departments who are waiting on his work to start their part. That’s one of the ways that he negotiates. Larissa says that, “Every day I’m negotiating with my coworkers for the thermostat setting in the office.” And Michelle, “Sort of the same line as Bill. Project deadlines. That’s how I spend some of my time negotiating.”
Tanya Longino: So what about on our jobs? LinkedIn conducted an employee survey, and here’s what they discovered. About 40% of company employees are not comfortable asking for what they want or believe they even deserve. We also discovered in this survey that men tend to be a little bit more comfortable asking for, for example a raise than women. And only about a quarter of the female working population survey feel comfortable enough to ask for or even negotiate for a promotional opportunity. Why do we think that’s the case? Could be a lack of confidence. Maybe one of the reasons.
Tanya Longino: Many people learn to negotiate by trial and error. If something works, they simply repeat it. If they see it and it works, they say, “Well, let me try that.” Others learn from role models who may perpetuate a less than effective approach like our friend Alice. And sometimes, we assume that a cookie cutter approach will work for every situation. But what we know, that the art of negotiating is very dynamic. And it’s critical to learn which style of negotiations work best for which situation.
Tanya Longino: The practice of negotiating is not always a perfect science. The ability to negotiate does not come naturally to most. So, what do we do when we want to perfect something? We begin to study and we practice. We study and we practice.
Tanya Longino: How do you define negotiating? Using that chat feature box again, chat in some of your ideas if you would on how do you define negotiating. Thank you, Betty. Betty says, “It’s a conversation of give and take.” That’s true. Thank you. And we have another one here from Nelson, and Nelson says, “It seems it’s a mutual discussion where we bargain for the best deal.” Yes. Both of those definitions ring true.
Tanya Longino: So negotiation may be defined as a specialized form of communication, right? Negotiating with another person or a group is communication aimed at fulfilling a mutual need of satisfaction. Each party discussing their interests he or she wishes to satisfy. And the other party is needed in some way to help them satisfy those interests. So what we know is in order for there to be a true negotiation, there are a few essential elements. The how, the who, and the what. How does one go about a negotiation? Who is involved in the negotiation? And what is at stake in a negotiation?
Tanya Longino: Negotiation experts, Fisher and Ury say this. “Every negotiator wants to reach an agreement that satisfies his substantive interests. That is why one negotiates. Beyond that, a negotiator also has an interest in his relationship with the other side. Getting to a yes, negotiating agreement without giving in.” So let’s talk about the definition that we’re going to settle on today.
Tanya Longino: A negotiation is an interactive process through which two or more parties to come to a mutual agreement. An interactive process. This is how we begin. We began with establishing a process or a path to reaching a mutual win. The interactive process also involves establishing what the mutual communication will look like. Establishing some ground rules or rapport that allow for everyone involved to get what they need from the process. This is where being intentional about collaborating and exchanging ideas with the sole purpose of agreement can satisfy all the parties.
Tanya Longino: The second part of this definition. The who. A negotiation is remember an interactive process where two or more parties seek to come to a mutual agreement. So in order to have a negotiation, you must have two or more people. Two or more parties willing to come to the table to have the discussion. What does that discussion look like?
Tanya Longino: It needs to be thoughtful, include constructive, thoughtful discussion that would lend itself to confronting any problems head on. And where you can arrive at innovative solutions and creative solutions that meet the needs of all parties. And finally, the last part of the definition is the what. Every negotiation has two kinds, or every negotiator has two kinds of interests. An interest in a substantive interest, and the relationship. So what does that look like? You must come to a mutual agreement.
Tanya Longino: For example, an antique dealer wants to make a profit on a sale. But you can imagine that the antique dealer also wants to establish a relationship with a customer so that they do what, you want them to continue to come back. You don’t want to burn a bridge with someone that you are in negotiations with. That’s been a smart negotiator. Substantive interest, and the ability to do that while maintaining a good relationship is important.
Tanya Longino: Most negotiations take place in the context of an ongoing relationship where it’s important to carry on each negotiation in a way that will help rather than hinder future relationships, and future negotiations. In fact, many longterm clients, business partners, professionals in the workplace, prefer the outcome of a win on both sides.
Tanya Longino: So if win-win approach is desired in most negotiations, why is it difficult to master the art of negotiation? Think about what challenges you and what you’re faced with during the negotiations you go through each day. What are some of the roadblocks?
Tanya Longino: Here’s an opportunity again, if you would not mind putting some of those obstacles in our chat box. Thank you Robert. You say that during negotiations, you sometimes get nervous. I agree. Because I think that’s natural for us, especially when we don’t know the outcome. I agree Robert, and I see you say that every customer is different. So I’m assuming you work in a customer facing environment. And because every customer is different, that might mean that every customer situation is different. So you might need different negotiating tools.
Tanya Longino: And Paulina, this is good. Paulina says, “I’m not taken seriously as a negotiator for the contracts of our business.” That’s interesting. And we’re going to talk about that Paulina, thank you for sharing that.
Tanya Longino: So what makes negotiating challenging? I’m only concerned about my interest and not the interests of other parties. It’s a win-win at all costs, or to have a mutual win. I’m not concerned about having a mutual win for everyone. Lack of time. I really haven’t set aside adequate time to do the research. So what happens? I’m nervous about what could happen or what could be exposed in a negotiation because I haven’t really done the pre-work to prepare myself. Another roadblock is my body language says to the client, the boss, the buyer. I just want to get this over with whatever you want to do.
Tanya Longino: Assign with me last minute changes. So paperwork is not completed properly. It has mistakes all over it. So it’s really important to go over every document and have someone help you proof. Always having another set of eyes is important.
Tanya Longino: So we’ve defined negotiations and we’ve talked about some roadblocks we encounter. And we’ve learned that the art of negotiating is not a one size fits all. So let’s identify the common negotiating styles.
Tanya Longino: This model that we have here is the negotiating style model. The two universal concerns for the outcome and relationships that are shared by all negotiators, regardless of the object that they’re negotiating. Concerns are not always expressed independently, but each concerns interacts with the other to produce a pattern or a style of negotiating behavior. Your style depends on the degree of emphasis you place on your concern for the outcome, and for the relationship. Because we talked earlier about there needing to be emphasis on what your interest is, and also the relationship, maintaining the relationship.
Tanya Longino: So this model, the model of negotiating styles, shows how the two concerns interact and produce five characteristic negotiating styles. Let’s look at each one of them in detail.
Tanya Longino: And remember, the outcome of the agreement. What are we negotiating for? The relationship with the other party. Is this important to us? Is it important to us to maintain that relationship? So you’re working with these two areas of concern when you’re in negotiation.
Tanya Longino: Defeat. This style has a high degree of concern for the outcome of the negotiation, and a low degree of concern for the relationship with the other party. And think of it this way. This style is characterized by win at all costs type attitude. The needs of the other party is not considered or rarely considered important. And there is little to no concern for building relationships. The negotiator wants to get his or her needs met and may use pressure or intimidation, or an adversarial interaction to get their way.
Tanya Longino: So this is a reminiscent of our early Dilbert cartoon where Alice definitely did seem that she cared about the other person’s, the contractor’s needs or their feelings. Right?
Tanya Longino: In this scenario, there’s really only one winner, right? I’m going to drive a hard bargain. It’s going to be me or them. I’m digging my heels in. You see this tug of war going. I want to apply all the pressure. I might even become belligerent to get my way. I’m willing to haggle to the very end. Where might you see this style of negotiation, or have you ever encountered this? If you want to add something in the chat box, please do. Andre said, “In real estate.” Yeah, I’ve seen that happen. Absolutely. And I see Carolyn, thank you. In the entertainment industry. Thank you both for sharing those.
Tanya Longino: Our second style is withdraw. This is a negotiator who keeps a low profile. They are feeling and thinking that really doesn’t matter what I say or do. The results are going to be what they are. It’s beyond my influence or my ability to make a difference. And you’re pretty resigned. You can even see through the body language here. This style has a low degree of concern. When you’re thinking about the model, a low degree of concern for both the outcome of the negotiation and the relationship with the other party. I’m not interested in either. This style is characterized by feelings of powerlessness and indifference. The negotiator is willing to take whatever the other party is willing to concede, and may even appear resigned and yielding. I don’t know if this is the negotiator we walk walking into a contract negotiating with us. Or it might be, let’s look at that.
Tanya Longino: The next slide. When you see the white flag coming out, what do you typically relate that to? Right? It’s I give. Whatever it is that you want, you have it. And when you see this, this style, there’s usually no way to course correct or turn the situation around. And the best you can do is accept what is being offered to you.
Tanya Longino: The accommodate negotiating style. This style has a high degree of concern for the relationship with the other party, and a low degree of concern for the outcome of the negotiation. Good relationships produce the deals. When you think about this style, the negotiator is mostly concerned with maintaining peace and harmony. They’re willing to make concessions for the sake of the relationship. They like to avoid confrontation and they tend to yield to pressure to preserve the relationship. Often time giving in and compromising their own desires and needs to satisfy those of the other person.
Tanya Longino: And you see the smiles, and everyone’s high fiving one another. This negotiator avoids confrontation, as I mentioned at all costs. Makes concessions. And oftentimes you’ll find this style, this negotiator is willing to even disclose the bottom line to the other party so that we can just move on. This person expends minimal effort to work out the best deal. This is the negotiator who uses accommodate as their style.
Tanya Longino: The next style is compromise. This negotiator is willing to meet the other person at the table, the other party halfway. This style has a moderate degree of concern for both the outcome of the negotiation and the relationship with the other party. This style is characterized by meeting with the other party halfway. Looking for trade-offs, splitting the difference. This particular negotiator is willing to settle on a quick acceptable solution, versus working together to develop a mutually agreed solution to conflicting needs. So here’s where again, we have to be careful that we are not giving in without fully vetting opportunities. And we’re not settling too quickly just to make sure that everyone’s happy. This style may produce reasonable results. It does not generate the same optimum settlement that can be achieved through a high degree of concern when you’re looking at both dimensions of behavior. The interest, and the relationship.
Tanya Longino: And lastly, the style of collaborate. This style has a high degree of concern for both the outcome of the negotiations, and the relationship with the party. So it’s equally concerned about both. This negotiator is searching for common ground and working together to develop mutually agreeable solutions. This negotiator sees negotiating as a creative, problem solving process in which both parties can walk away satisfied. They’re willing to form a partnership, and willing to push for mutual gain, and willing to stay at the table until everyone’s satisfied.
Tanya Longino: With a collaborative style, there are no tricks involved. Principles are used over trickery. Both parties get their respective needs met as we mentioned earlier. For example, instead of dividing apples, we can shake the tree to get more apples for everyone.
Tanya Longino: So now that you have heard about, you’ve learned about the five negotiating styles, take a moment to answer our polling question. Which of the five negotiation styles are you closest to? Defeat, withdraw, accommodate, compromise, or collaborate?
Sarah Lindmont: Good. So I can see responses are starting to come in. You want to click on those radio buttons next to each word and then click submit. And when we’ve gotten everyone, we’ll share those results.
Tanya Longino: Thank you, Sarah.
Sarah Lindmont: Okay, looks like we’ve got everyone.
Tanya Longino: Thank you. So it looks like compromise, 47% of our voting. So 47% of you say that you most identify with the style of compromise. So let’s go back a little bit. And if you recall, that style is where you are willing to meet the party, the other party halfway. We look for trade offs. Splitting the difference is important to you.
Tanya Longino: A close match with that is collaborate, where we are again looking to focus on problem solving and looking for an opportunity for both parties to leave the table satisfied. That’s a close one. And 12% said accommodate. Thank you for taking the poll.
Tanya Longino: So given that we’ve spent some time on learning and understanding, unpacking the different types of styles. Now let’s talk about which style is appropriate for any given situation. Variations of styles may be appropriate under certain conditions. A negotiator may choose any one of the five for particular negotiation, but here’s where we’re going to take a look at some of the advantages and disadvantages of each style.
Tanya Longino: Advantages and disadvantages of defeat. Good short term deals, but could be destructive and ineffective in the long run. The other party might look to get back at this type of negotiator. If the other party uses the same style, it may be appropriate to use.
Tanya Longino: Advantages and disadvantages of a withdrawal. This is generally a style that results in unfair agreements with personal feelings of helplessness. This style might be appropriate in terms of expediency if the other party has all the power over the other one. But it would often leave one of the parties really feeling dejected and not necessarily in a great place for returning.
Tanya Longino: Advantages and disadvantages of the style of accommodate. This is where an agreement may be reached, but it might be at a high cost. In terms of one sided solutions, and sometimes superficial relationships based on concessions. One party over the other. When the relationship is a paramount concern, this style may be an appropriate temporary solution.
Tanya Longino: Advantages and disadvantages of compromise. Although both parties involved may have some of their needs met, this style does not generate an optimal win-win solution. It produces adequate solutions, but not necessarily the best outcome for the most satisfactory relationship. If trade-offs are the only thing that will work, this style may be the most cost effective.
Tanya Longino: And lastly, advantages and disadvantages of the collaborative style. Consistently produces a creative solutions to problems while improving the relationship. It does take more time and effort, and practice to work through a collaborative style of negotiation.
Tanya Longino: So here’s another cartoon illustration. And you see here the two little ones, the one in the back is playing and the other comes to share that Norman won’t collaborate. So as depicted in this cartoon, while the collaborative style may yield the most optimal satisfaction for both parties in a negotiation, not everyone is interested in working together. And we may have experienced that. Or perhaps the other party lacks the interpersonal skills needed to collaborate effectively in a negotiation. Remember we talked about negotiations not being an exact science. That there are skills that need to be learned or that will benefit a negotiator. So here’s the how to collaborate. As we see collaborate, this style of negotiating as one to perhaps get us to a place where both parties could walk away from the table feeling good about their agreement and maintaining a relationship. Remember, all parties go away feeling as if they have done a good job given the situation that’s at hand.
Tanya Longino: There are six interpersonal skills identified if practiced, can help to move a negotiator in the direction of collaboration. If you reflect back on the earlier slide where the young boy was telling his mom that his brother did not want to collaborate. Let’s talk next about how we can move parties to collaboration, and ultimately creating a win-win for everyone.
Tanya Longino: Let’s talk about those interpersonal skills. The skills include assertive behavior. Be clear about your own needs in the discussion, and be considerate of the other party’s needs as well. Supportive climate and building. This is consciously and deliberately working on establishing and maintaining a supportive tone in the discussion. Actively listen. Make every effort before verbal and nonverbal skills set in to let your negotiating partner know that you’re listening, and that you’re interested in what he or she is saying. This is very important that, because we are often quick to respond. Because we do that sometimes subconsciously, we want to respond before a person has even finished asking their question. But this is where we want to practice those active listening skills so that we can show the other negotiator that we are present. We’re intentional about wanting to learn and understand what their needs are.
Tanya Longino: Non verbal behavior, sensitivity. Being sensitive to a range of nonverbal behaviors you’re negotiating partner is using. These behaviors may tell you more than his or her words. That would be the body language, the shifting in the chair, the seat. The folding of the arms. Whether someone is nodding in agreement or grimacing. Those are nonverbal cues that will help us as we are sitting across the table from our parties.
Tanya Longino: Using questions to raise receptivity. Ask questions in order to get gather necessary information and makes sure you understand the other party. Always ask questions. Whether you think you know the answer or not, it’s an opportunity for you to also show your interest and your understanding. Ask questions.
Tanya Longino: Confronting and working differences. Treat differences as an opportunity to learn more about the other party. Address them very quickly, so that they don’t fester and bubble up into something negative. You don’t want them to interfere with your negotiation. So these interpersonal skills are the skills that we can practice and work on in preparation for our negotiating skills.
Tanya Longino: In addition to our interpersonal skills, a method or approach that will increase the probability of a win-win is needed. That method includes seven steps that we’ve listed here. The first one is comprehensive preparation. Have you done all of your homework? Prior to an advance of you sitting down with the other party, get all of your homework done. Who are you meeting with? Who are the players at the table? What are their pain points? What’s going to make a difference for them? Who are their competitors? Who are your competitors?
Tanya Longino: Number two, appropriate opening to set the tone of the negotiation. Be intentional about putting everyone at ease. Set the tone. Make sure that everyone feels that they can be heard. Find out what’s important. Set ground rules for your negotiations. Ground rules meaning what’s our social contract? What do you need from me to make this an opportunity for both of us to be heard?
Tanya Longino: Exploration. Exploration of each party’s needs. Know the party’s pain points and their sweet spots. Understanding what makes them tick, what’s going to be a win-win for them. Development of alternatives. Create development of alternatives by being proactive with suggestions before they become problems.
Tanya Longino: Objective criteria. Use objective criteria when you’re evaluating agreements. Don’t use trickery. Don’t try to fudge information that you don’t have answers to or that you don’t know. Use principle centered learning and reasonable ways for evaluating information.
Tanya Longino: Appropriate closing. Ensure a complete on both sides that everyone is in agreement with your understanding. Critique. Critique the negotiated outcomes. Ensure that everyone’s objectives have been met, making sure that all parties are satisfied before we leave the table.
Tanya Longino: Negotiating with others is a creative process that can be affected by thought, preparation, and skill practice as we’ve discussed. The model that we’ve put before you is designed to help negotiators focus on those skills and those methods that are likely to produce logistic outcomes. We are delighted that each of you have joined us this afternoon. And as we are wrapping up and close to time, we want to lend you an opportunity to ask questions. So if you have some questions, please put them in the chat box in our questions box, and we will try to get them answered.
Sarah Lindmont: Yes. Thank you so much Tanya. So go ahead and send in those questions that you might have. We do have a few minutes here. I can see already one has come in, so we’re going to just jump in here and get right started. So this one is from John, and he is asking, “How do we negotiate when dealing with a person whom you know well from the past?”
Tanya Longino: Thank you, John for your question. And oftentimes we think that people that we know well from the past might lend themselves to being a simple or an easy negotiating opportunity. But we don’t want to take those that we know for granted. Right? We do want to utilize intel that we do have at our disposal in terms of knowing who they are, what their likes and dislikes are. Remember I talked about pain points and sweet spots. Knowing the person across the table from you, their temperament gives you more of an opportunity because you do have some knowledge of them. Perhaps about their business, likes and dislikes. The temperament being one of the most important here. But certainly doing your homework and not taking any of it for granted. Being proactive and trying to anticipate questions before you arrive at the table being professional. Because what you don’t want to ever have happen is that that person feels as though you took them for granted because you’ve had a prior relationship or prior business engagement. You want to remain professional and to walk into that negotiation as you would with others. But certainly, having some prior knowledge of the person gives you some leverage of their temperament. You can do some checking on what their business needs are, and how you might be able to meet those needs. John, I hope that answers your question. Thank you for that.
Sarah Lindmont: Thank you. And our next one is from Betsy. And she’s asking about how do you understand other people? So she says she has a desire, but she’s not sure how to get from them what their interests may be.
Tanya Longino: So how do you understand the other person’s interest? That’s a good question Betsy, thank you. And this is where you start to ask those questions. You are intentional about doing your homework. This is almost, you put your consulting hat on. You are asking questions, you’re doing your fact finding. This is where you’re setting the tone for what’s to come. And you are deliberate about listening for what their needs are and what their wants are. This is how you build rapport, and also how you begin to understand the others that are across the table from you. Listening, and asking questions, and being observant I think are the ways that you can move yourself to a place of understanding what the wants are of others. Thank you Betsy.
Sarah Lindmont: And I have another one here from Terry. Terry asks personally, “What do you think is the best quality that is most helpful during a negotiation?”
Tanya Longino: That’s a good one Terry. Thank you for your question. Listening. I have had the opportunity to be on both sides of the table. And listening is what we tend not to do so well. And this is one of those skills that absolutely we have to practice. Because innately I think we want to help and answer, and get through dialogue quickly. We want to almost take the question out of the person’s, finish their sentence for them. But if we can practice good listening skills, active listening skills, we will pick up on nuggets of information that will be helpful and beneficial as we move through a negotiation. It’s imperative that we listen. Listen for information, listen for as I mentioned, those nuggets. And oftentimes, we might even hear something that changes the way the style that we’re using. It changes our approach. And we don’t want to miss something because we didn’t hear from the other party, something that could really help us as we move through our negotiation. So I would say listening is very, very key. Thank you Terry.
Sarah Lindmont: Great. So I can see we have a couple questions coming in that are around the idea of really difficult negotiators. So maybe people who tend to use the defeat or have some passive aggressive tendencies. So these two questions in particular sort of go together. But Mildred asks, “How can you negotiate if the person does not acknowledge you?” And Sandra is asking, “What should be done or said if the other person does not want to budge or stands their ground?” So can you talk a little bit about some of those really hard people in negotiating and some of what you can do with those difficult negotiate?
Tanya Longino: Absolutely. Thank you Mildred and Sandra for those questions. And inevitably yes, we do run into negotiators who can be tagged as being difficult. And how do we get from a place of them not wanting to budge or listen, to a place of communication? And again, here is where we utilize some of the skills that we know to work in our everyday lives. We ask questions. Oftentimes when negotiators are unwilling or they appear to be unwilling, there’s some underlying reason. And this is where our calm demeanor, where our ability to do some fact finding, some listening, asking the right questions. And here’s where you might even ask. “I get the sense, or I’m feeling as though you have some questions or you have some concerns. Let’s talk about what those concerns are.” And you’re not defensive. You don’t allow, but you’re redirecting the questions. You’re asking for what is it that they’re struggling with at the moment or at the time.
Tanya Longino: Or perhaps they don’t understand something that’s been laid before them or put before them in terms of an agreement or a potential agreement contract of such. Maybe, or perhaps they’ve not done their homework before coming to the table. This might mean more time Mildred and Sandra, at the table for you doing some more of the explaining. But it’s oftentimes worth it to get to a place of, “Okay, you can hear me. You’re listening to me, and you genuinely want to know what my concerns are.” And if the person feels that I’m sitting across from someone who honestly cares about my concerns, then they are more apt to, you’ll start to see some of that difficult posture kind of melt away. But it’s certainly you meeting them with that same level of difficulty or passiveness, or just negativity will get you nowhere.
Tanya Longino: Oftentimes, it’s a mere opportunity for asking questions and trying to get at the root of why are we here? Why are we at this place of impasse? Let’s get beyond that, because the objective and getting to the objective is what we both want. And if you can get to what the desired outcome is for both parties, then some of that what you’re saying, you’ll see it just kind of melt away. And it’s very interesting when it happens because you’ll see it and you’ll recognize it. And you’ll say, “Okay, now I’m getting somewhere.” I hope that answers both of your questions.
Sarah Lindmont: Yes, thank you. Good. And our last question it looks like we have here is from Janet and she’s asking me, “How does someone,” oh yes. Sandra says, “Yes, thank you.” And so Janet asks, “How does someone learn how to negotiate?”
Tanya Longino: That’s a good question, Janet. And that’s why we’re here today. Sarah, I think that’s a great question to wrap up on as well. Our negotiating style profile teaches you, shares with you ways to understand the different techniques, understand your own personal interest and behaviors. There’s an assessment that you can engage with that will help you understand what your personal style is and what your personal interests are as it relates to this topic. And you can begin practicing what we talked about today in terms of the characteristics and the motivations, and how you can practice what we talked about. And how you can deliver yourself as an expert negotiator.
Tanya Longino: But again, it’s not an exact science. It is absolutely something that we need to practice. Just like my husband teaching my boys how to shoot their three point shot. It’s practice, practice, practice. They’re always in the lab, and I encourage those who I work with to do the exact same thing. Janet, I hope that answers your question.
Sarah Lindmont: Good. Thank you so much Tanya. Thank you everyone today for participating in our session. I know we have some new people on the line, so I just want to introduce HRDQ to those that are new to us. We publish research based experiential learning products that you can deliver in your organization. So check out our online or print self-assessments and workshops like the negotiating style profile, the foundation of today’s session. We also have up out of your seat games, reproducible programs you can customize. So you can check out our website, call our customer service team. And if you need help either learning one of our programs or you want one of our expert trainers to deliver it for you like Tanya, we also provide those services. So we do look forward to being your soft skills training resource. Tanya, thank you so much for sharing your expertise today.
Tanya Longino: Thank you. I’ve enjoyed every second. Thank you very much. And thank you to everyone who joined us.
Sarah Lindmont: Yes, thank you everyone for participating in today’s webinar. And happy training.
Tanya Longino: Thank you.
Does developing your negotiation strategy make a difference? The short answer, YES. Every negotiator aspires to win, so preparing an approach to achieve goals is critical to your outcome and overall company success. Secure the skills necessary for proper negotiation by defining its various styles during this webinar hosted by Tayna Longino, the President and Founder of HR Partners.
Join us and discover how to design and execute a confident negotiation strategy and forget the fear of failure. Use this webinar to address common mistakes made before and during difficult negotiations and uncover strategies for your future success.
This webinar was inspired using research from the Negotiating Style Profile, a comprehensive training program giving emerging and experienced leaders the tools and techniques for developing and refining their negotiating skills. This self-assessment offers a simple framework for determining one’s negotiating style and the likely effect it has in negotiating situations.
Participants will learn:
- Personal negotiating styles
- Contrasts in various negotiating styles
- Which negotiating method works best in a given situation
- How to improve negotiating effectiveness
- The art of collaborating without giving in or haggling
- How to maintain healthy communication during negotiations
Who should attend:
- Training and HR professionals
- Independent consultants
- Managers delivering training
About our presenter:
Tayna Longino is the President and Founder of HR Partners, an interview strategy firm. In this role, Tayna has been helping clients develop competitive interview strategies for more than 25 years. Her HR career spans several industries and specialties, including Finance, IT, Banking, Specialty Materials, Pharmaceuticals, Retail, and Health Care. She has enjoyed a great working relationship as a global business partner with companies such as Bank One, Rohm and Haas, Glaxo Smith Kline, Toyota Financial, and others.